Savitri

Diary

December 13, 2001

Sleep is a sometime thing, fugitive and erratic. Digestion is poor with bloating and some discomfort of cramping. Blood pressure is on the high side. All points to the necessity of going deeper within, remaining undisturbed by the exigencies of the current situation with Mary Helen's cancer so that I may become a more receptive instrument.

The repetition of the Name progresses in the heart and now much of the day and night it is present, reverberating in the being. I have begun Om Namo Bhagavate Sri Aurobindo Mirra, which is helping to focus on the Presence in the heart. It is growing stronger. However, establishing the silence is another thing.

Work on Savitri progresses steadily, the Lexicon now more than 80% complete. There is also now a greater need to read Mother and Sri Aurobindo constantly in the night before sleep as well as in the day and to concentrate Their image in the heart.

Poetry comes when it wishes, without advance notice, but I aspire to touch a deeper depth by stilling the mind. One must be patient and grateful for all that comes.

Mary Helen's reading of Savitri has progressed so beautifully. For me it has been much like watching a flower open petal by petal so deep and flowing has her recitation of the lines become. There are nights when my thoughts wander and I have to pull back the mind and immerse myself in the mantric sounds but on other nights I feel the power of line after line wash over me, enter me, and the mind is awed, the heart moved and the soul immersed in beauty and light.